Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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