I'm sorry my penis didn't work
You can't motorboat a personality
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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