Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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