ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
