Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
