I am spending my child support on dildos
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
