bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
