Redeem this text for a blowjob
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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