Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the day after is always just damage control
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize