I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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