Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
