That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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