Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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