worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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