before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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