I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
