Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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