If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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