to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
