that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
