you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
