Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
