No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
