So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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