should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
