I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Come on in and take your pants off
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