Do you still have your period?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
