and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
