what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
