Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
