ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
