He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
