So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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