Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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