He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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