sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
