we have pet lesbian snakes
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
