If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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