She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
