I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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