Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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