tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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