she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
