Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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