Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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