I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
