I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
