i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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