I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
