Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
