my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
This house was built for laser tag.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
