i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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