I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She's like a pop up book from hell.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
