Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
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He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
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Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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