we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
