Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
