it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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