the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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