Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
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It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
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Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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