Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize