I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
