Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
should my penis look like a turkey
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
