He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
