...so i touched it.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
