Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
